The difference between humans and other living things is the way we interact and handle social relationships. Life skills depend on how you communicate with your surroundings and how comfortable you are living in an environment filled with people with varied thoughts and actions. A personal boundary is a term that is being widely discussed by psychologists and mental experts.
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What is a personal boundary?
In simple terms, a personal boundary in a set of guidelines you set for yourself and for people around you. There are a lot of factors that decide how small or how wide your personal boundaries are. A few common ones are:
-Beliefs and opinions
-Past relationship lessons
How is this important?
Have you ever felt violated, pushed or bullied by a friend, family member or colleague? Have you been uncomfortable, taken for granted, hurt or irritated by other people’s actions? The reason in most cases might be a weaker boundary that you have set around you. Personal boundaries are important, as, with them, you can look forward to mutually respectful, happy and supportive relationships. By setting such boundaries, you tell people what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior around you.
There are three common types of personal boundaries experts deal with at all times.
You draw a line for touching you, holding you or to have any kind of physical contact
you do not let people control what you think
you do not let people influence your feelings and emotions
When you have a weaker boundary set, you will get affected by what people say and do around you and you will have very less control to handle/prevent these actions.
How to work in your personal space?
You can start by making a list of recent events that made you uncomfortable or angry. Write down the names of people who caused such emotions and try to jot down the exact reason why you felt violated. Spend some time and understand what went wrong and how you reacted to that situation. This list will give you a perfect sense of where your personal boundaries were weak. You can now think of responses you will give the next time such a situation happens. You can try and reestablish your boundary by politely asking the person to not do/say what he did before.
For instance, consider Boundaries in relationships – if you find your partner trying to make your decisions or be pushy about your plans of action in the office or your personal life, you can have a talk and mention how this makes you uncomfortable. Ask your partner for independence and some personal space.
Few other common examples of personal boundaries are listed below:
-Not joke about how you look
-Not demotivate you when you try something new
-Not try and change your religious beliefs
-Not misplace things around your house
-Not go through your personal emails and texts
-Not advice you on right and wrong
-Not make you wait
-Not use your things without your permission
These are just a few points. You can list your boundaries based on what works for you.
Benefits of setting up the right boundaries
The first and most important benefit is how you feel. When you are comfortable, happy and relieved, you enjoy life. Rightly established personal boundaries help all kinds of relationships to survive for a longer time. When you talk about mutual boundaries, it also helps to prevent embarrassment later on. At the end of the day, your life is yours and you should be ready to take control of it and stay away from unhealthy spaces and people.
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